If I decide not to go back into therapy for C-PTSD?
I had worsening C-PTSD with serious dissociative symptoms for nearly twenty years of completely ineffective therapy. I tried CBT, DBT, psychoanalysis, eclectic talk therapy, supposedly trauma-informed approaches, inpatient, intensive outpatient you get the idea. I tried several medications. I just kept getting worse. But in the last few years, three things have completely turned my life around. The first was leaving an abusive relationship. This is not an easy thing to do. There are always reasons to stay, and I sacrificed a LOT to leave. But I could not recover from trauma while in an abusive relationship. I got a job in mental health peer support. Obviously, this isn't something everyone can do. But I found a community in which my experiences have value. Rather than being ashamed of dissociation, I can use my experiences to better relate to others and educate people who aren't familiar with trauma-related issues. I can relax and be myself, surrounded by accepting people who are open about their own struggles. I attend a domestic violence support group. Connecting with people who have similar experiences has been huge for me. Using my own experiences to be useful to others, has also been huge. Having a supportive community helped me to tackle the shame that so often goes hand-in-hand with dissociation. Finally, my therapist has helped me. This same therapist was not able to help me before I found a supportive community, friends, and career. But once I had that stability, validation, and sense of safety I was finally ready for what she had to offer. My therapist offers a safe space in which to trust another person enough to talk about my real feelings and experiences, and to feel some measure of attachment. There's no way I could have trusted her that much, without the other two situations already in place. So, I would urge you to try to find a community of people who have been through trauma. It can be online or in-person. Support group, peer center, Facebook group whatever. Get out of harmful relationships. You might find therapy helpful, later on, with the right person. And try to read first-person accounts written by people with C-PTSD and/or dissociation not just clinical experts that label our ways of coping with trauma as illness. People who understand the context and purpose of dissociation, because they have lived it. That's what has been helpful for me.