How can I, a middle management, 41 year old guy with average looks,?
As someone who is about to leave their 40's, let me welcome you to what could be one of the most enriching time of your life. Scott McCormick and an one Anonymous answered with the key: Don't worry about what other people think is great. Think of what you think is great and do it. Without this addressed, you'll never break out of the reasoning why you asked this question in the first place. However, this advice could seem as overwhelming when faced with the details of your life so perhaps a more structured set may be in order. For those who may have glanced at my contributions here, I will appear overly repetitive. Regardless, here is my advice to where to get started: Make a list of all the things you're afraid of Examine the ones that do not involve anyone but you e.g. Fear of deep water, fear of heights, fear of spiders, etc. Choose one of those and make it a point to overcome it. Tip: Start with the small ones first. By eliminating the smaller ones it will destabilize the larger ones. For the rest of your life, update step 1 as needed and repeat step 2 - 3 until the list is empty. Keep in mind the following: This list will never be empty for the objective in life is not be fearless but to fear less. You will feel a rush when the first item is crossed off. Refrain from telling the world. Your fight isn't over. Your definition of fear will change over time thus changing your list. By changing yourself, you will change those in your immediate environment. That change can have a life of its own. There is a degree of selfishness to happiness. Your endeavors may alter the lives of people you're connected with. You may be placed in difficult situations. I include this separate because some people are not single and it is also my subjective take on this method: Do this quietly. Do not announce this and try to get help from others. Yes, do this alone. Why? There is an old adage that says "When you die and go to hell, you must walk through the gates of hell alone for there is nothing more terrifying to someone than being alone." Challenge accepted.